Delhi - Gurgaon and the usual!

*Rant Alert*

The traffic of Delhi-Gurgaon is a great teacher. It teaches you so many things in such a short span of time that at the end of your journey from Home to Office you are a lot more humbled. It teaches you to be thankful, it teaches you the importance of short memory and many other things.

When you start from home at 7:15 in the morning, the pleasant weather and light rain gives you the great energy you would need to start your day on a happy note. And, then suddenly you find a malfunctioning Traffic Signal which is turning green for just 30 sec resulting in 15 min stoppages where it should ideally be just 2 to 3 minutes. You realize, it’s never wise to count your chickens before they hatch.

A little further down the way, there is a caring father who stops his car on the right most side of the road – next to the road partition. He leisurely stops the car, waits for his son to get out with his bag and water bottle and go to school on the other side of the road – while other cars screech and skid and come to a halt to avoid hitting his car and killing a people or two – just so that the child does not have to cross the road, and the father can save a few minutes and few drops of petrol by avoiding the U-Turn ahead. This teaches you the art of reading the situation. If there is a school on the other side of the road, there are bound to be caring parents who will drop their children in the middle of the road – you just have to know this.

A little further, after you are almost half way to your office, you have come to terms with the fact that the journey to office today would be a stop-start affair and you will probably reach office 30 min late than your usual time. On a 2 lane road with oncoming traffic, there are around 10 cars waiting in front of you – you wait patiently so that the oncoming traffic can pass. The turn ahead is a little congested, so it’s better to let the oncoming traffic pass. A 2-3 minute delay is what is expected here. A 30 second wait, and in the rear-view mirror you see a bike zooming ahead wrong way. As soon as the biker sees a car coming in front of him, he zooms into the lane between the cars and disappears as if water in milk. He teaches you how to adjust.

Thanks to the bikers, the 10 car lane which would have got easily reduced to 0 cars, is now stretched to at least 20 cars as the bikers think there bikes don’t occupy any space and it’s their birth right to pass first. You still wait patiently, and allow them to pass as it is illegal to shoot them or hit them. Also, it is not wise to block their way because they clearly don’t seem to have anything to loose. And, you continue to wait patiently. Because, some misadventures on your part and there would be lots of scratches on your car and puppy faced biker saying sorry and moving ahead as you are still stuck in traffic. So, if you are anyhow going to be still stuck in traffic – better wait for your turn.

 Seeing the biker adjust seamlessly in between the cars, there comes a car driver following him. He zooms past the now 20 car lane, hoping to find a rookie driver whom he can threaten with a left indicator, a few flashes of head light and a pressure horn. Sadly to his surprise, all the 20 cars gang up against him and don’t allow him to get adjusted in between. He is a sorry figure now. This teaches you the power of unity.

As soon, as the wrong lane car driver sees an oncoming car – he now has no option but to force his way in between the cars. You try desperately and manage to push him behind you. There you get a lesson in driving, and making those delicate maneuvers. The wrong lane driver finally manages to fit himself in between you and the car behind you. He teaches you, where there’s will, there’s a way.

However, along the way he just manages to clip the rear mud-guard of your car with the Bull bars on his car. You get out of the car, and try to assess the damage. The damage is negligible – but it is there. For a moment you think, shall I just move on or give the other guy a piece of your mind. In a split second, you have to make the decision and you decide to shout at him and vent out your anger. He gently rolls down his windows, and gives a wry smile with a Sorry on his lips. There, yes there – you get the power of the word Sorry. You come darting Wrong way on a 2 lane road with oncoming traffic ahead – loud horn and head light flashes, and just proved 20 car drivers behind you as idiots who were waiting for their turn and get away with a Sorry.  Thank Lord that they don’t sell Bazookas on the roadside here in Delhi. It would have definitely reduced the traffic on the roads.

You get back in the car and Sarthak @ 104.8 FM treats you with some soulful music. Back in the car, and you forget everything which just happened. There’s your lesson in how short memory can be good sometimes, and how can music and a good RJ play such an important role in mad traffic.

Finally, after some waiting the traffic starts moving again. The queue which was initially just 10 cars is now stretched to a good 30+ cars. Seeing the traffic moving again, it’s now the turn of more bikers to come darting wrong way, and with them comes another car following them. Seeing the car and bikes coming wrong way, it’s kind of a free for all out there. Everyone’s patience has run out and they break from the queue. Now, imagine the scene – a 2 lane road with hardly space for a 2 wheeler to fit in between, and 2 way traffic – we have both the lanes occupied by the traffic moving in the same direction. Chaos ensues! Seeing, the chaos some good Samaritans come out of their car trying to clear the jam. And suddenly, all those who came wrong way, get to pass first and those idiots who were waiting patiently have to give them way. There’s your lesson in how to create a chaos where there is none and get benefited by it.

The chaos ends, and you are back on an empty stretch. Just a couple of kilometers ahead you encounter a 2 km stretch of road, which a few weeks back you couldn’t have called a road – as there were more potholes than asphalt on that stretch. Some sense prevailed, and the authorities decided to patch up this stretch just before the monsoons. This was such a big sigh of relief. Finally, someone worked before the actual problem. Now, what remained was the reason for that road to get broken every few months – absolutely no drainage, which led to water logging and resulting in the road getting broken. So, now just a month after the road had been repaired the good souls in Gurgaon municipal authority decide to dig up the road again to fulfill the unfinished task of drains. As you pass this stretch of road which which had been repaired just a month back, being dug up again to put in the drains they had comfortably forgotten to put in when the roads were built- I smile, not at anybody else but at the pathetic state of affairs. This is what I have learnt, to control your anger with a smile.

As, you are just about to reach your wife’s office, the state of the road in front of the office is very different. It has been under construction from as long as I remember.  Every week, 10 m of the half the width of the road is built. Interestingly, all the constructions start on Monday morning and finish by Monday evening. After that we wait for the next Monday to come for the next stretch to be built. In between the Mondays, you are treated with a lot of dust and cement. This piece of road teaches you how not to build a road, the perfect example.

After dropping my wife, you are on your way to office a couple of more kilometers ahead but one of the most arduous stretch of couple of kilometers. Places where the 3-wheelers carry more people than a mini bus and being driven by drivers half your age and double your brain size (moti buddhi?). By the way, I am 31! Ok, not everyone driving those 3 wheelers is half my age – but I can bet on the buddhi piece. This place is called Udyog Vihar. Every intersection here requires at least 6 traffic marshals to manage. You feel obliged to follow their directions more out of pity on their condition than anything else. You will see them begging, crying, shouting, laughing, hitting people and show every possible emotion on the streets than you have seen anywhere else on a humans face. Udyog Vihar teaches you how poor and ugly can things get when there is no fear of the law. Thank the Lord, that people at some places in Delhi still follow rules.

After, crossing Udyog Vihar – we are now on NH 8 (is it still called NH 8, I am not sure?) in front of the big and grand DLF Cyber City. Roads wide enough to have 8 cars side by side at one moment. Sadly, you will always find 8 cars side by side here! Every morning, it’s a gamble here. You have to guess, use your mind, and use your wits to find a way to your office. Yes, the directions here change every 2 weeks, if not earlier. Just as you think the traffic cops have found out a way to manage traffic jams, the road direction change again. There are new routes, and signage every few days. The piece of stretch teaches you how to how to manage new directions, and how to react when faced with a challenging situation.

Finally, after 3 hours when you are just outside your office, there is a cab driver who drops people at the sutta point while you wait patiently while everyone else in the car in front of you comes out and adjust their seating arrangements again. Patience is the key everywhere!

At the end of the journey, I feel humbled, I feel exhausted, I feel proud, I feel like a king, I feel like a beggar, I feel like crying, I feel like laughing, I feel thankful, I feel angry, I feel happy, I feel accomplished, I feel regret, I feel numb – well this is what the Delhi – Gurgaon traffic teaches you, to be all of this, all at once!

All I can say for today is, 21 Km – 3 Ghante – Fakr hai!