The Placement Story- 6 of 7

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Soon, I gt d news dat Tech Mahindra wud b visiting MAIT on 26th july.. so I rushed back frm there to home on 24th, so dat I cud prepare a bit fr d ppr… . On the morning of 26th I left home wearing those clothes, which I ws now beginning to hate like anything… while goin there, it suddenly started raingin heavily… on d way to clg I ws almost drenched in water… my clothes wer all wet, I ws feeling like hd I been selected dat day in infy , I may nt hv had to see all this… I jus couldn’t manage to get d failure at infosys get out of my head… d date 14th july had somehow managed to leave a huge impact on me… n also those 4 days, 14th 15th 16th n 17th wer all that wer needed to destroy me completely… it came like a tsunami … n left wid only destruction behind it. Tech Mahindra…. Ws one of the last of d gud companies which visits our clg.. I knew it .. so d pressure it generated on me ws also enormous… they conducted there written, exam… I managed to clear it… I ws making a habit of clearing d written now… Ankush, nasir, pradeep n nasir also managed to clear d written. Immediately after the written, they started wid there interviews… Nasir ws d first one to go in…. I ws waiting outside d room… it ws a technical interview, so it made me a lot more tense… n it ws showing on my face, as ws remarked by quite a few ppl standing there. As nasir came out , I entered d room… d interview ws nothing short of a disaster… I managed to tell him d logic of a C++ program which he asked n also an analytical question which he asked, bt wasn’t able to tell him anything else… he started by asking me the definitions.. I ws totally confused n jus gave up. I wasn’t able to clear d interview…. D result ws told to me immediately after d interview. Ankush, Nasir n pradeep hd managed to clear d technical interview bt not chirag. When I ws leaving fr home frm d clg…. yet again 14th july struck me.. there wasn’t any technical interviews there.. dat ws my chance, n I dropped it. One more thing 14th july managed ws, dat I had a notion dat I ws gud in HR… bt that ws proven wrong.. horribly wrong, my confidence hd hit d lowest. Wen I left college, it ws still drizzling… I walked a kilometer atleast in d rain.. n then took an auto till d main road… n frm there gt on a bus n reached home… as I entered mom asked “KYA HUA”… I said. “NAHI HUA, INTERVIEW MEIN BAHAR”.. she said “KOI BAAT NAHI”.. .. end of story!!! Later I gt d news dat Nasir, pradeep n ankush hd made it thru… I jus cant say it in words how happy I ws fr Nasir… fr a moment I almost forgot d fact dat I had failed again… nasir hd gone thru a tough time… d sort of I ws witnessing now..

Soon, the fact dat I ws one of the very few who wer left unplaced.. started playing on my mind…. where almost all wer looking ahead to d college opening after d holidays, there I ws afraid to go to clg, I ws afraid of getting lost there… I ws afraid of facing d truth. Evrything I did in d past three years except studies, started to look as if ws d reason behind d situation I ws standing in now… d question wat if I had done dis, wat if I had done dis?? started to come to my mind again and again… mom hd already told me dat internet ws one reason fr the backlog dat I hd got.. I ws trying to get away frm all d luxuries I hd ben given to me by my parents… everything looked as if ws a burden on my parents coz of me… d feeling of d being “d rejected one” ws growing inside me. I tried to distance myself frm all the luxuries I had got… I reduced d time I spent on PC drastically…. reduced d use of cellphone, stopped watching TV as much…. Everything ws looking like it ws a burden on my parents due to me… I started looking myself as a burden.. my self esteem took a hit.. I kno dis ws very much an over-reaction… bt dis is d way I am… d inferiority complex had grown in me… My mind ws filled wid all the negative thots u cud imagine in d mind of a depressed person….. Then I remeberd wat I once told amitesh… it all had come true!!!! The holidays wer almost over… nasir ws placed in Tech Mahindra (I told dis to amitesh b4 tech mahindra visited)… rest had been placed in infosys… exactly wat I had told him… n also I was still unplaced… exactly wat I had said… some may say dat , it was d result of d negative thots dat I had grown in me… .bt d fact is dat I kno myself inside out… wat I think doesn’t effect d way I work!!! i.e I may think negatively, I may b a peimist bt dis really doesn’t effect d way I work… dis is d way I am, n I need no-one’s stamp of approval on dis…. I AM WAT I AM!!!

Comments

  1. Anonymous18 September, 2011 21:12

    how many time i do not do what i want to do but do what i dont want to do

    ReplyDelete

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